A Night of Bells but no Whistles
by Doggieboy80
Summary: Daria's temporary change of wardrobe gets her some very unexpected attention.


Author's Note: _Daria_ and all of its characters are the property of MTV/Viacom. The "Humping Robot" from _Robot Chicken _is the property of Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. This is fanfiction and no money was exchanged for this story. It is non-profit and written for fun.

This story is the result of an Iron Chef from the PPMB titled "Cargo Ship". Thanks, Derek.

**A Night of Bells (but no Whistles)**

**By**

**Doggieboy80**

Jane Lane sat on the side of Daria's desk and shook her head as she looked at her best friend. "You know, Morgendorffer, I think you've gone off the deep end."

Daria Morgendorffer stood there as she looked in her dresser mirror and said, "Oh? What do you mean?"

She had on her typical green jacket and orange pullover shirt, as well as her round glasses and even her Doc Martens. But, instead of a black pleated skirt, the auburn-haired teen had on a knee-length armored skirt. Instead of a typical zipper on the side, the metallic skirt connected on her left side with a series of metal clasps.

Jane snickered and said, "Well, I guess that I can call you an iron maiden now, huh?"

Daria rolled her eyes and then looked over her glasses at her the other girl. "Oh, you're a real laugh riot."

The raven-haired girl shook her head. "But why an armored skirt? That thing has to weigh twenty pounds!"

"Actually, it weighs thirty-two pounds."

"You're gonna kill your back."

"I'm just trying to see how I'd look in armor," Daria said and looked again in the mirror. "Then you could do a painting of me as Joan of Arc."

Jane nodded and thought that over for several seconds. "You know, that's not a bad idea," she said.

**********

Outside the Morgendorffer home, the sound of metallic footsteps could be heard. A robot, who looked like a refugee from a fifties B-movie, walked down the sidewalk. He looked towards one house he passed and saw Daria through the opened bedroom window. He especially saw her armored skirt and his right hand went over where his heart would have been.

If he had gone to the Wizard of Oz, that is.

The robot clanged his way up to the Morgendorffer house, his pace a little quicker than it had been earlier.

**********

In the living room, Jake Morgendorffer sat on the couch and smiled as he watched the movie _Rio Lobo_. A bowl of popcorn and a bottle of Ultra Cola sat on a coffee table in front of him.

"'Why don't you blow a bugle?'" Jake said in unison with John Wayne, as the actor spoke to Jack Elam in the film.

Suddenly, the front door burst open and the robot walked in. Jake screamed like a little girl and fainted. His body fell to the floor between the couch and the coffee table.

**********

The sound of Jake's scream could be heard in Daria's bedroom and she and Jane looked at each other quickly.

"What was that?" Daria asked and then looked at her closed bedroom door.

"I dunno," Jane said and looked at the door also.

Suddenly, the door burst open and fell to the floor and the robot walked in over it. Both girls screamed at the sudden intrusion and at the robot itself.

The robot looked down at Daria's armored skirt and placed both hands over where his heart would have been. Then he rushed up to Daria, grabbed her by her arms and began dry-humping the front of the girl's skirt.

Jane sat on the desk, frozen in fear. She looked as if she were about to cry.

Daria stared at the robot, her expression one of absolute shock.

The sound of metal on metal reverberated throughout the house.

**********

As the robot started to leave the bedroom nearly an hour later, Daria laid on her back on her bed. The front of her armored skirt had multiple dents in it.

"Wait!" she called out. The robot stopped and looked back at her. She stood up, moved up to the robot and planted a kiss where its lips would have been...if he were put together like a Mr. Potato Head.

"Come back and see me sometime," she said and stroked the side of his head.

The robot hugged her, then moved on down the stairway and out the front doorway.

Daria took off the armored skirt and sighed in relief. She moved to her bed and covered herself from the waist down. Then she looked at Jane, who still sat on the desk, as if she were frozen. "Jane!" she called out. "It's O.K. He left."

Jane blinked several times, shuddered violently for several seconds, and then said, her voice hoarse, "What just happened in here?"

A small smile appeared on Daria's face. "I just got a boyfriend."

The raven-haired girl covered her eyes and groaned. "I not only need brain bleach, I need ear bleach as well. I'm going to hear you 'getting clanged' all night in my dreams."

Daria's smile widened and she chuckled. "I need a cigarette."

--FINIS--


End file.
